the conference

So the conference began with, "I just can't...".  "Stop right there", I said, "That's your problem". The teacher looked at me in puzzlement and became a little bit of indignant.  "What do you mean MY problem!?" "Well", I said, "Whenever you start your sentence with 'I can't' it means that you've already given up".  "It's not my problem", he said as he straightened his tie.  "It's yours and Gerald's".  "Well", I said to him, "lets look at the situation.  Gerald does need to do his best and he should ask for help or further explanation instead of showing his frustration.  We're working on that at home.  Now you've got to do your best- and before you speak, just let me finish.  That means you as the professional have to try every means at your disposal to understand each child and to get and keep his or her attention.  Isn't that correct?  Have you done that? I don't mean teaching in the same learning style with which YOU learn, I mean discovering the learning style of the people who are being taught and teaching to THEIR learning style."  Well, that got his Ire up and I could hear one of the other teachers mumbling, "Well, this is a waste of time." I proceeded to explain that there were several things going on here.  First no one had called us until the situation for them was unbearable.  Second, it didn't seem that anyone had gone to see the counselor to ask for information or for advice. Third, teachers could either teach the subject or the student and there is a difference.  As all the 'ruffled feathers' in the room started to smooth out I looked each one in the eye and said, " How many of you know what ADD/ADHD is?"  A few heads nodded, so I asked the counselor to explain to all Gerald's teachers what ADD/ADHD was and how it impacted learning.  I then explained that I had not intention of allowing poor behavior  to be accepted or to go without a firm response for my son, but neither was I going to allow his self -esteem to be lowered further by insensitive adults who are either unwilling or unable to to give him the help he needs order to find success in school.  I pointed out the many successful doctors, lawyers, engineers, college professors and actors who had been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.  "If we work together", I said, "We can educate my child, and he will be a recipient of the kind of education that he deserves and that we're paying for."  By the end of the conference we had mapped out some strategies and signals that would work for the student, the parents and the teachers.